How to be an exemplary mentor

To some, the idea of becoming a mentor may seem vague, and even unnecessary. "Why should I mentor?" "What should mentorship look like?" By the end of this article, I am confident you will have answers to all these questions and be an impactful and effective mentor to others. 

First of all, what's the purpose of mentorship? Shouldn't emerging professionals be able to learn all the skills needed to be successful on the job? While there are many skills to be gained through professional practice, there are so many more skills a job will never teach you, such as:

• Learning how to position yourself for a promotion.
• Learning how to ask for a raise.
• Learning how to effectively network.
• Learning how to be a powerful speaker and communicator. 

There are skills emerging professionals learn on the job through experience, and skills they develop outside the walls of an office. In service of helping an emerging professional develop the skills listed above, there are several types of mentor roles you can take on. 

The three types of mentors

A mentor at your place of work

This can be through a formally-structured program at your company or more typical project relationships, such as a project manager and architectural designer. Your company may also have a "buddy" mentor system that helps new hires onboard and acclimate their new role. A mentor may be tasked with teaching a mentee any proprietary tasks/skills within your company, and to serve as a resource to answer any questions they may have. 

This type of relationship is a great support system for new hires navigating their new role. For project-based mentorship, it is one of the primary methods professionals can use to grow their knowledge and skills, no matter what experience level you're at. The most important professional relationships you will ever have are the people you work closest with. 

A mentor within an organization

This could be through a professional organization such as AIA, or a mentor-based program such as the ACE Mentor Program of America, a high school program that mentors and educates students interested in architecture, construction, and engineering. This time is often volunteered and not part of a mentor's full-time job. 

These types of mentors are a great resource for career advice. Since the setting is out of the workplace, mentees are in a safe space to ask more sensitive questions, including ones about pay and benefits, or talk about working conditions or professional relationships. These types of mentor-mentee relationships can be a great way for mentees to receive advice on navigating difficult professional hurdles. 

An informal mentor 

A more informal mentorship can be non-industry-based, covering life as well as career skills. If you're just starting your career, reaching out to someone you admire for coffee or an informal chat can help solidify them as a mentor; if you're farther along in your career, offer (solicited) support and advice to those who might just be starting out. 

The A's of mentorship

No matter which type of mentorship you may be interested in pursuing, mentorship, at its core, is universal. The keys to being an exemplary mentor can be broken down into five categories. I like to call these the "A's" of mentorship. If you exhibit traits in each of these categories, you will be able to help your mentee accomplish any goals you set forth together. 

Active

The responsibility of initiating in a mentor/mentee relationship isn't the sole responsibility of the mentee—it's on the mentor, too! Mentees may not always know when they need support. If you haven't heard from your mentee in some time, take the time to reach out and check in on them.

Think ahead in your mentee's career. What resources might they need in the future? How can you provide them with these resources, or guide them to someone (i.e., their next mentor) that can provide it to them? Think of the questions they might not even think to ask at this stage in their career that you wish you had thought about when you were in their shoes. 

Lastly, be an active listener to your mentee. Acknowledge their struggles and hardships, and meet them where they're at. Something that worked for you in your situation may not work the same for them. Before providing advice, summarize what they’ve voiced to you and make sure you understand where they’re coming from, and what they’re really trying to say. Provide advice, not solutions. Your goal as a mentor is to help guide the ship, not be the one who steers it.

Available

A mentor needs to create an environment where a mentee feels comfortable reaching out and asking for support. We all get busy, so how do we increase our availability for our mentee? 

• Set a recurring meeting, such as a monthly check-in. There doesn't always have to be an agenda, and it gives both the mentor and mentee a set time they can rely on, and most importantly, plan around on their calendar!
• If you have a schedule with availability at recurring times, make this availability known to your mentee. This gives the mentee the comfort of knowing they can reach out to you without interrupting something important.
• In workplace mentorship roles, mentorship is often one of the first things on the chopping block when work gets busy. I argue that mentorship is critical to the success of your team and company, and should never be put off or ignored.

Advocating

What do you do for your mentee when they're not in the room? This is especially critical in mentor relationships at work. To move with upwards mobility in a firm, it's crucial to have someone who can attest to a mentee's skills and capabilities "in the room where it happens." You can also serve as a referral for your mentee or write a letter of recommendation. Be the person who attests to and stands behind their brilliance. 

Accessible

In addition to being available, ideal mentor relationships are within arms' reach. This is more easily accomplished in an office, but how about outside of the office? 

• If physical location or distance is a barrier, opt for a virtual meeting.
• If you time is limited, consider breaking chats into smaller chunks of time, or hold them asynchronously.
• Consider giving your mentee a direct line. It can help your connection feel more genuine. (If your mentorship is through work, you may not want to have that same level of availability. Always take care of yourself first, including maintaining a healthy work/life balance.)

Accountable

Don't just give your mentee advice and goals to shoot for; set goals for yourself, too! There is always the opportunity to grow, no matter what stage of career you're in. Late in his career on a way back from a client meeting, world-renowned architect Michael Graves said to an associate, "I finally know how to be an architect."

In addition to holding yourself accountable to your own goals, be accountable to your mentee. Be available when you say you are, and put in the effort outside of meetings to support them. Mentorship is a responsibility, and your mentee puts great trust in your guidance and support. 

Is mentorship right for you?

Are you ready to be a mentor? How do you know when you're ready? As Michael Graves said, it can take a lifetime to know everything about something. The point is, you don't need to know everything to be able to teach someone. Your experience matters and can be a valuable resource to others, whether they’re one year behind you in their career or just beginning the journey. 

We are all the culmination of all our mentors and wouldn't be who we are without them. We owe it to the countless people who taught us to teach the next generation, and to inspire them to be future mentors as well.

Jack Whalen, AIA, is a licensed architect and Regional Director for the ACE Mentor Program of America. Within his local community, Jack is a mentor for high school students in ACE Mentor Delaware and an adjunct instructor at Delaware Tech Community College and serves as the AIA Delaware 2024-35 Young Architect Representative.